May 7th-27th, 2024
Tuesday May 7th - Monday May 27th
Medical Updates
Eyes
I continue healing well from surgery, I think my tissue from both the skin graft donor site (behind my ear) and placement site (under eye) are fully healed (see progress photos here). Now it is up to me to continue scar massage, protect them from the sun, and use scar gel to soften and reduce the appearance of scar tissue.
My vision has not improved at all and I continue to be very light and reflection sensitive, which means I cannot drive at night. This is frustrating, very limiting, and makes me dependent on others.
I also continue to experience a lot of dryness and use eyedrops several times a day and gel at night.
I hoped my vision and dryness would improve by now! I see the surgeon again on 7/10.
Mouth
5/8 Orthodontist: she updated my top wire to the strength that I’ll likely stay at, which is exciting progress. She wonders about whether it is time to see two more specialists, one for dental implants and another for gum health. She was going to discuss my case with the oral surgeon on 5/10, so when I see her next (6/12) I will learn more about next steps. I continue to see her monthly for the foreseeable future and she is reluctant to tell me what she expects for braces timeline, as there continue to be many unknowns.
General
5/21 Orthopedic Dr appt for continued knee pain: ended up seeing his fellow, who I liked very much.
We discussed that it is time to order bilateral knee MRIs (finally!) to find out more info, but likely nothing he will do other than a scope to clean out some of the mess they may find. Other more intense surgeries would require removal of the femur rods, which we don’t want to do. My chiropractor and pain injection specialist will be able to do more with the information we find from the MRIs, so it is not hopeless :)
He and my chiropractor both encourage me to work on my VMO muscle which is proven to help with knee pain and overall health in the long run. The exercise I am starting with is to sit or lay down with legs straight, push knees down to lift heels, and hold till fatigue. It is recommended to do this at least 3x/day!
I also asked the orthopedic fellow about my hip, as it continues to be unstable and my chiropractor and PT suspect I have a labrum tear. The ortho dr said they don’t do anything about those, but my chiro knows there are things we can do if we determine I do have a labrum tear (labrum is the cartilage that lines the hip socket and connects the ball and socket parts of the hip). So, hopefully I can get an MRI on my hip eventually to assess this further. I need to schedule a hip specific appointment and make sure I see the primary orthopedic dr, not his fellow who was not as familiar with labrum tears.
Arm/hand: I’ve been working with the OT/certified hand specialist to mobilize the scar tissue and help the ulnar nerve glide better along the fracture and plate in my arm. This has helped soften things already! My pain is still there but I believe it is decreasing so that is promising. I won’t see her for a few weeks so we will see how I do without her care.
Chiro: She has been helping me weekly and there is always so much to evaluate and treat. This last appointment (5/27), Patrick came with to learn how to put my hip back in alignment which hopefully will help keep me out of pain, especially since we are going away for two weeks so I won’t see her. She said she’s been considering how I might have Fibromyalgia as I fit into the diagnosis from her perspective. I am already on the meds that would be prescribed to help, but this diagnosis might help me as I move through the systems I have to navigate (such as disability benefits). She has recently acquired a cold laser and we are trying it on the deep scar tissue on my left thigh, it already seems to be loosening things up. Very promising! We will potentially be able to use it on my knees after we understand what is going on there.
PT: After my orthopedic dr appointment, we updated my referral to include working on my hip. My PT said this already aligned with our focus on my back body to help with my knee pain, so we are in good shape. I like their PT clinic a lot! I am still feeling a tension in wanting to do my PT routine to continue helping my body heal, and also loving to do other activities like volleyball, yoga, gardening, gentle hikes, all of which take up a lot of my energy. I only have so much to expend! Just as I feel I am getting back into a rhythm, we are going away again for two weeks - I am happy that my sister’s place in Mexico has a gym so I hope to be able to keep up with my routine, and there is also a pool I’m planning to do some swimming exercise which continues to be recommended for me.
General Updates and Happenings
Mediation prep continued until a few days before the event 5/15-16 in Denver.
Patrick and I drove to Denver on 5/14, driving by the accident site once again, and saw my car while driving down the highway (it is still in the holding lot). My mom and Calvin both happened to text me right when we were passing the site which is wild and yummy.
It was heart-filling to be at my mom’s house with her and the pups, though I was dealing with underlying anxiety about the mediation and how it was going to go. With two full days of mediation, it was wonderful to have my mom’s home as a landing pad - and to have the Nuggets v Timberwolves playoff games to watch on two of the nights we were there! We enjoyed spending time together, eating yummy food we don’t have access to in Taos, and decompressing before, during, and after mediation.
The judge at mediation was really lovely, I felt very seen by him which was a huge bright spot in the triggering two days. It was a very stressful two days and we are not close to settling, will likely go to trial, and it may even move out past our currently scheduled November dates.
Being home post-mediation and processing it all is taking a lot of time… there’s a lot to process and think about! I’m settling into the realization that this is still my life, will be for some time, and am struggling with feeling stuck and isolated and overwhelmed - and at the same time I know I have so much support and am surrounded by love. I’m working on letting go of worries about what I cannot control, and just doing what feels good and what I need to do to keep healing. Lots of feels…
I’ve had several very helpful and important conversations with various providers post-mediation, reminding me to find the bright spots, stay in love, remind myself of my truth and value, and a general understanding of how hard this is.
Disability benefits: coming home from mediation and realizing we are nowhere near settling, my financial stress has become greater and pushed me to follow up more with the SSA disability office.
I called and found out who is processing my case, called her every day, multiple times a day, for 5 days until finally I got ahold of her. She is in CA and my case has been outsourced to her, she has only had it for 3 months. She said she needs to make sure she has all of the records from all of my providers (17!) - she will do that next week and then it will go to the Dr to review, and she will call me if there’s anything she needs from me. She was asking which provider has a summary of all of my injuries and what’s happening with them, etc. - and in retrospect, I wish I said my chiropractor as she has the best overarching knowledge. Instead, I just said that I have so many injuries I am seeing many different providers to take care of it all and no one person has a summary.
My therapist suggested finding an attorney to help me with disability benefits, so I’m working on that - if anyone has a recommendation, please share!
My conversations with Social Security and then the state DVR office further influenced my feelings of not enough, having to fight hard for my value and exhausted by it, being misunderstood by the systems I have to interact with.
Bright spots: so enjoying watching the NBA playoffs, even though our beloved Nuggets were taken out. Patrick and I have been doing a lot of gardening and yard updates; our space is looking wonderful and we so enjoy spending time out there. We’ve been playing volleyball at least once a week and love the activity itself and our yummy community of friends. Patrick and I also went on an easy 3 mile hike on 5/26 and I practice walking both dogs on the leashes; I am a bit sore but not horrible so that’s some exciting progress! I get in some pain after doing activity but with the help of my providers I’m mostly able to go back to my baseline, which is the goal, even though I’d like my baseline to be less pain - we’re working on it!
We’re preparing for a 2 week vacation which will be wonderful! We’ll be in Albuquerque for 3 days, Mexico for 9, and Albuquerque for another 1 on the end. I am excited to have a break, and also nervous to not have my providers for that long. And, making sure all is set to get the care I need when we get back, it’s a bit overwhelming. I know it will all be ok and realize I have some fear about being away from home, with all the things I know I need and can access, and there’s pressure when traveling to bring all the things I might need and to know what that is. Maybe this is PTSD showing up? Anyway, this is the first vacation we have had since the collision and we so need it.
Oh, and, I’m going back blonde! Slowly but surely my natural color is coming back - I stopped using the color conditioner a couple of months ago, and with the help of the sun and time, we’re going back blonde. I went red because when I was in the hospital a little over a year and a half ago I had this image of me as a superhero with red hair… now I know that even without the red, I am still a superhero ✨🥰
On the Horizon
Continue weekly-ish appointments: PT, OT (for hand and arm), chiropractor/myofascial pain dr, massage, naturopath/energy work, therapy, pain injections
5/29: CO Springs Face Surgeon telemed
5/30-6/1: ABQ for Patrick’s dad’s wedding <3
6/2-11: Patrick and I go to Puerto Penasco!
6/12: Orthodontist
6/13: Pain Injection Specialist
6/27: Dentist follow-up
TBD: Orthopedic Surgeon appt for hip instability
TBD: bilateral knee MRIs and follow-ups
