September 30th - November 5th, 2024
Monday September 30th - Tuesday November 5th
General Updates and Happenings
I’ve been constantly on the go this last month! In Albuquerque on Oct 2, Denver Oct 11-18, Santa Fe Oct 25-27, and Albuquerque again on Oct 29-30. It has been all for good reason and also is too much! I’m exhausted, and with so much going on, it is hard to process and integrate. Most days I power through fatigue and overwhelm to get what I need to done; I think I am often also dissociating to get by. I know it is a combination of my body continuing to work very hard every day to heal, as well as the emotional and mental toll of everything I continue to have to navigate, plus being on the go! The lawsuit, as well as my medical appointments, have ramped up quite a bit recently, which is hard on the heart and mind (more specific medical details below in the respective sections).
The inundation of medical appts and exploration this last month has created a battle inside of me… worrying or even being afraid of my own body and also knowing it will be okay no matter what happens. My face/mouth/nose raise concerns, my hip is undergoing care that will determine whether surgery is an option in the future should I need it, and we are exploring whether my vision challenges are neurological and, with that, assessing my brain function in general with additional testing. This all requires conversations with numerous providers of different perspectives, procedures and tests, waiting for information, and remaining in tune with what my body tells me. I have a perpetual scared response in my body - for a number of reasons, as you can imagine - and am working with all the tools I have, thanks to my many fabulous providers, to switch from fight or flight to rest and digest. It takes a village!
With all the activity and travel, I still notice that I thrive best when I practice my morning routine of reading (ideally on the heating pad), meditating outside depending on the weather, and stretching and other light exercises that help my body align and calm down. I’m happy to be honing a practice that works for me. I’ve already hit my goal of reading 50 books this year!
I feel very disconnected from the outside world and also troubled by everything that’s happening! There is so much grief and trauma and worry inside my own life and in the world in general. So many feels…
10/11-18 Week in Denver:
I had a wonderful time with my mom and Calvin, and even though we all got sick during my visit, we are lucky to love each other’s company. One day we visited my dad at Evergreen Memorial and had yummy brunch at a cafe we love in the area (Blackbird Cafe: https://blackbird-cafe-evergreen.com/). Lots of time spent sitting in the back yard, in the men’s club as my dad called it, and relaxing.
10/12 Went out to Levitt Pavillion to see Big Gigantic DJ set with my brother and some friends. The venue is great! Open outdoor venue with food and drink vendors and lots of space to boogie! What a blast from the past to see Big G.
10/16 was my 2-year accidentiversary day - the past two years have both flown by and felt very slow. It is hard to believe all that I have been through, and it’s not over. The night before, I started to feel the weight of the day ahead, and the day itself was both heavy and joyful. I have immense gratitude for this life. I spent the day with my mama; she took me to get my makeup done and buy a few new things - my 2-year-old face wanted a makeover and upgrade. It was such a nice treat! Then I had friends over for a potluck dinner and had a heart-filling time, full of lots of love and connection.
I shared a 2 year reflection post on Instagram and my Learnings page on this site
10/17 I had a great massage with the first masseus who took care of me post-accident, it was terrific to see him too! He was super happy to see me, and I had an excellent 2 hour treatment. Ahhhh.
With all the busyness and time away from home, it’s been more challenging to keep up with playing volleyball at least once a week and doing home PT 3 times / week. I am working on getting back in the groove… and I always hope for more (like pilates, yoga, walks/hikes, swimming, etc), and have goals while reminding myself to be kind and know I am doing my best.
10/25-26 Grad school friend’s wedding in Santa Fe: what a dreamy reunion of my closest friends from graduate school! We hadn’t seen each other since August 2022 when we were last in ATL together for the end of our program. I sure missed these fantastic women! I had the dogs with me for the weekend and stayed in an AirBnB very close to my favorite dog park and enjoyed taking them for long walks multiple times over the days there.
10/29-30 ABQ for appts and staying with my cousins: busy time with 5 appointments in two days, and very much enjoyed reconnecting with my cousins and staying in their comfy space
Disability benefits: no update
Victim’s Compensation Fund: no update
HSD Benefits: It has been a tremendous help to finally have SNAP benefits for our monthly food costs. Huge relief!
Lawsuit: continues to go on…
There were more depositions on 10/4 followed by several hectic weeks of lots of balls in the air, uncertain timelines, lack of control, and also sort of on-call - it really takes a toll!
Trial has been delayed, with new dates TBD but likely in Spring of 2025
We are trying to negotiate a settlement though there is no way to know for certain that anything will come of it; all we can do is hold hope and at the same time, expect nothing. We have mediation in Denver on Nov 13 with the same judge who worked with us in May; he was lovely! I know it will be a heavy time leading up to and during mediation.
Medical Updates
Mouth
10/2 Crazy day of Orthodontist - Dentist - Orthodontist: The orthodontist removed the bracket on my broken lower left tooth; I then went to get a crown, during which we were not able to get the area completely numb despite 4 attempts, so went ahead with the procedure (ow!); then I went back to the orthodontist to get my braces back on and adjusted. Unfortunately, I will not get my braces off by the end of this year as initially anticipated, but hopefully in early 2025.
10/30 Orthodontist - She said things look really good, and my teeth are mostly coming together. We are still fixing the small crossbite and aligning my two front teeth. We are switching our next appointments to every 3 weeks instead of 4, which may speed up the progress.
Face
10/11 Facial Plastics and Reconstructive Surgeon: it was so wonderful to see him and we covered a lot of ground! It seemed like he was happy to see me and generally pleased with how things are healing and looking from head to toe. In approaching the discussion about potential cosmetic next steps, I so appreciated him leading the conversation by asking me what bothers me the most or where my eyes are most drawn to on my face. He could have easily started telling me where he thinks the asymmetries lie, but instead, let me guide it. That felt like top-notch bedside manner <3
Sinus issue: We discussed the yucky smell I’m experiencing in my left nostril, and he did not think we would find anything from the cultures my PCP office ordered due to the issue likely existing deep in my maxillary sinus. He put me on a 10-day course of antibiotics to see if the smell would reside and also ordered a CT scan to evaluate the sinuses in 1 month’s time (Nov 11 or after). I may need to establish care with an Ear-Nose-Throat (ENT) Surgeon to decide the best course for preventing sinusitis and improving the function of my sinuses in general. I’ve been told that my sinuses hardly function at all.
The smell went away with antibiotics and then came back. Makes me nervous! I have messaged him about this and scheduled my CT scan for Nov 11.
Exposed plate in nose: When examining my nose regarding the sinus smell, he noticed that one of my facial plates is becoming exposed inside my nose. Because the Oral and Maxillofacial surgeon put this plate in, he recommended following up with his team for next steps (see below “10/29 Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon Appt” for update).
Nasal appearance: Because my nose was rebuilt with bone grafting and the soft tissue on top is very thin, he does not recommend a “nose job” with additional cartilage or bone. He suggested soft tissue augmentation with hyaluronic acid filler to give some additional shape to the upper region of my nose.
Left facial cosmetic next steps: We discussed scar excision on the bottommost scar on my left cheek, which will improve the appearance of that scar and may also help my mouth look more symmetrical by allowing my top left lip to move more freely, as well as fat grafting near the upper section of scarring to round out my cheek a bit more.
I’m hoping we will combine procedures and do the scar revision, fat injection, and nasal injections with HA filler simultaneously. No timeline is set yet.
Neuro-ophthalmology referral: more details under “eyes”
10/29 Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon Appt - My oral surgeon examined the exposed plate and agreed that the plate needs to come out. His partner at UNM, who helped with my big jaw surgery, will be the one to handle the next steps, so he was planning to talk to her on 10/30 and follow up after that. I told him I’m having another hardware removal surgery on 11/26 and asked if that date might be possible; he said he would work on it.
Eyes
Vision: no changes, I am still not comfortable driving at night and often have difficulties with sunlight and indoor lighting reflections.
10/11 Facial Plastics and Reconstructive Surgeon said he’d look into neuro-ophthalmology and other options via his connections in the eye specialist world. After discussion with his colleagues, he referred me to the neuro-ophthalmology dept at CU in Denver, and of course, I had worries about insurance. I spoke with my BCBS NM contact, and they said to go ahead and try for an appointment in CO. Then, I heard from the neuro-ophth dept that I will first need a dilated eye exam, so have scheduled one in Taos for 12/13. Always so many steps!
10/29 Neurology evaluation with no immediate thoughts on vision issues, but I am set for an EEG on 10/30 and an MRI as soon as I can schedule one.
Dryness also continues to be an issue and I continue to use drops many times a day and gel at night to keep my eyes moist.
Orthopedic
Knees continue to hurt a lot and massage, cupping, myofascial chiropractic, and pain injection treatments all help. My chiropractor started using a cold laser which has been helpful in reducing myofascial tension patterns but they are deep and layered and my providers keep discovering new patterns in there - fascinating and frustrating at the same time! I have to remember how much trauma my body, and especially my legs, went through and give them a break :)
R Hip: I’ve had several rounds of communication with my orthopedic dr and myofascial chiropractor and now understand that getting a cortisone injection in the hip is a first step to 1) treat pain and 2) determine if surgery to repair my torn labrum is a viable option. Patients who find relief from cortisone and still go on to need surgery do significantly better than those that cortisone does not help.
10/28 fluoroscopic-guided cortisone injection in hip: the injection wasn’t too painful, just uncomfortable, and I was pretty numb afterward so didn’t feel sore until the next day. I’ve had a few days of feeling pressure/achey in the hip, half a day of relief, and then the same pain pattern as before the injection. My chiropractor adjusted me and said she could tell my body reacted with some tension patterns, not surprisingly, and she still had hope that I would find relief. My hip is so unstable I have to be careful to keep it in alignment!
As of 11/5, my hip is still hurting so I am a bit nervous. My orthopedic dr is supposed to call me today to discuss.
L arm and Hand - still having a lot of pain and stiffness in my arm and hand, I’m excited to have my plate removed on 11/26 and see if that helps!
L ankle - my ankle continues to hurt on and off and I have plate removal scheduled 11/26.
PT: continuing to try for weekly sessions, sometimes moving to every other week depending on what else is going on. We work on my right hip, knees, and ankle pain and appropriate strengthening and balance exercises given my injuries. I believe it is helpful and really appreciate the wonderful staff and environment in the office. I enjoy going to my appointments.
General
Bodywork:
10/9 and 10/23 pain injection specialist treatments: neck, shoulders, jaw, and other headache muscles; 9 rib injections and shoulder work in prep for seeing upper cervical chiropractor
10/30 Atlas Orthogonal Chiropractor adjustment of my atlas bone at the top of my spine which was definitely needed and will hopefully help with neck stabilization and reduce headaches.
I continue to see several different types of bodywork providers weekly and find amazing support through this network; when I don’t see them weekly, I struggle more. We continue to chip away at the layers of pain patterns and help my nervous system shift.
10/29 Neurology: This was my first neurology workup since the collision, though I’ve seen this provider before for previous head injury healing journeys. Generally, my neurological workup was solid, but given my vision challenges, nearly constant headaches, and previous head injuries, we decided to do EEG and MRI testing. He also suggested I try an SNRI that can help with PTSD symptoms and pain, including headaches. I’ve started the medication and am hopeful I can find some relief.
I had my EEG on 10/30 and am waiting to schedule the MRI in Santa Fe when insurance approves the test. We will then follow-up by phone to discuss the results and if the medication is helping.
Pain:
With all the travel and stress I continue to deal with, my body has felt worse lately. My hip has never hurt as much as it did after I got home from Denver and up until I got my injection. I still struggle with daily pain from head to toe.
Weather changes affects my pain levels quite a bit. I have successfully reduced my daily Lyrica dosage to 400mg/day so that on days when weather is coming in, I can increase to the max daily dosage of 600mg/day. I’m happy to have this tool to lean on. I’m also hopeful that my upcoming plate removal surgery will help alleviate the pain in my left arm, hand, and ankle.
Mental health:
10/9 PCP appt: Always so much ground to cover: medications, PTSD, my high blood iron levels that remain a challenge. She is no longer seeing patients after the end of the year, which is a huge bummer. I will still have other providers in her office to see, though no MDs that I am aware of. I am hopeful that I can still get the medication management support that I need. Unfortunately, there will be no access to ketamine sessions after the end of the year but she agreed to do a couple more with me.
11/1 Ketamine session: With everything going on in my body and the worries it is causing, I was nervous to do my session but figured it could help and wanted to try it. The session was amazing! It was as if I was in a video game, being squeezed into tight spaces and darkness, and pushing through, transforming into sparkles and flowers. Blasting through the small, uncomfortable spaces over and over. Towards the end it turned into inhale, sunrise imagery over and over. What a helpful message to receive!
Therapy: I haven’t been able to see my therapist at all this past month but will resume sessions this week and have several scheduled in November.
On the Horizon
Weekly appts in Taos: bodywork, pain management, chiropractic and myofascial, PT, behavioral health
Weekly meetings with legal team for civil suit
11/5: Orthopedic dr f/u re: hip injection
11/8: Ketamine therapy session
11/11: Face CT Scan
TBD: f/u with face surgeon re: CT scan
11/13: Lawsuit mediation in Denver
TBD: brain MRI
11/20: Orthodontist
11/26: Arm and Ankle plate removal surgery, possibly adding in facial/nasal plate removal if we can swing it!
12/4: Dentist
12/6: New provider for nervous system/PTSD support
12/11: Orthodontist
