June-July 2023
Friday June 1st - Wednesday June 7th
Had a lovely friend get together at the park with some volleyball :) Our volleyball park nights are such a yummy community that fills my cup.
I enjoyed doing some errands, gardening, and household chores while I still had use of both arms.
My mom, brother, and brother’s partner arrived Saturday and we all went to Hotel Luna Mystica’s office opening party in support and celebration of Patrick and his business. Sunday we went on a nice flat hike, my longest yet so another milestone in my mobility progress. We made yummy enchiladas for dinner and a long time fried came over to watch the Nuggets. Monday was mom’s birthday and we took her to lunch, shopping for a new hiking backpack, and enjoyed spending time at the house and prepping for my upcoming surgery. We’ve been doing a family meditation challenge/mutual inspiration group and have been taking turns with our morning meditation in our yummy cultivated garden area (see here and here). It is so wonderful to be together again and have them here; I sure feel loved, well cared for, and in great company.
Surgery update:
Mom, Calvin, and I headed to Abq for surgery and Patrick and Silvana held down the fort at home; I’m lucky to have all of them here to cover all the bases! We weren’t sure if we’d end up needing to stay the night so were prepared for all options. We checked in at 2 with surgery start time of 3:30 but due to delays didn’t start surgery until 5.
Mouth/face: This surgery was performed by the second oral surgeon working on my case with my primary oral surgeon; I was happy to finally meet her and that she was able to make this surgery happen at the same time as my arm. She removed two plates from upper left maxilla and a few additional screws. Today I’m swollen (see here), in some pain, and back to a soft diet but nothing I haven’t dealt with before.
Arm: They removed the plate in my left ulna and added a slightly longer one for more compression; they didn’t think a bone graft was necessary and it will heal with assistance of the new plate.
Surgery finished at 6:15 and I discharged a little after 7. My nurse commented that she’s never seen someone come out of anesthesia so smiley - I do remember being happy to see her. Mom and Calvin were there to pick me up with a fresh juice from home with protein powder and a blended Thai soup. We had comfy blankets and pillows and a silly stuffed animal a dear friend gave me in the hospital; I stayed comfy, cozy in the car despite driving through treacherous storms all the way home. Big thanks to Calvin for calmy and safely powering through to get us home by 10 pm. We were all grateful and happy to be able to get home after surgery.
During surgery, I was under general anesthesia and also a nerve block for my arm. The nerve block did not wear off until the middle of the night, so my arm felt like dead weight and not even connected to my body until gradually reminding me of its presence with throbbing, dull pain. I didn’t sleep very much, waking up every hour and a half or so and then increasingly in pain as the morning came. The pain has not let up and the Taos pharmacy doesn't yet have my new prescriptions but luckily I had a stash saved from before. I'm adjusting my meds to get better control of the pain. Regardless, I am happy to have the step past and to be home. Being in pain and being back to a soft food diet are nothing I haven’t already dealt with and know how to manage.
I enjoyed sitting in the sun this morning and breathing through pain in the garden with our birds (see here). I'm resting up and being a good patient!
Thursday June 8th - Tuesday June 20th
Medical updates:
Surgery recovery:
My arm pain was talking the loudest in the first few days post surgery, and when I finally got it under control, my face pain started talking more but nothing horrible or not manageable; It is fascinating to me how pain shifts and it seems one’s brain can only listen to so many signals at one time. When I was in the hospital, my face was consistently (and constantly) the worst pain I experienced. I am so happy it did not come back like it was and of course, I had no idea what to expect. As of Sunday 6/11, I’m fully off pain meds again and feeling better every day.
I thought the arm recovery would be easy, because I’ve had basically the same arm surgery already, but I didn’t take into account the fact that I was bedridden last time. And then, when I was able to begin getting up and moving again, I was still in a cast past my elbow for some time. This time, I am in only a splint and left the hospital with little direction from the surgeon. I have been trying my best not to use my arm and hand, and wearing the sling often so that I don’t use it accidentally. I am still able to do quite a lot, and I’m constantly learning work around to do various tasks, like carrying things in my armpit, or in my sling, and being mindful with my movement.
My face has not been bugging me as much as I expected, so that is very positive. I did have a horrible dream one night that part of my jaw broke off; it brought back those strong feelings of, "this mouth does not belong to me" that were so persistent in the beginning and creep back in every now and then. While waiting for the sutures to dissolve, I remained on a soft food diet and used numbing gel to help with pain/discomfort. The sutures fell out Monday 6/19.
Mouth:
6/14 Orthodontist appt went well. My lower braces are now at the wire strength they need to be for surgery, so now just monitoring them and continuing to progress the top. She thinks only a few more times and the top will be there too, depending on how things move. I asked about the 6-9 month surgery timeline and she made it sound like the August 17 date is still being held as a possibility 🤷🏼♀️ I will definitely know more after seeing my primary oral surgeon 6/20. Last I saw him, he told me not to pay attention to that surgery hold, so I’m a bit confused and cautiously hopeful. The orthodontist also said my secondary oral surgeon who did last week’s procedure told her my facial fracture has not healed where they took the plates out, so it is extra good they came out to reduce risk of infection with a non healing fracture, and they are going to re-break there anyway so not a big deal but interesting to know. One of the teeth at the fracture site is more stable than they thought so that’s good news too. Big update and things are always changing!
6/20 Oral surgeon follow-up: he is very happy with how the mucosa is healing and confirmed the information the orthodontist heard from the other oral surgeon; he was reluctant to say anything about the timeline for surgery or post-surgery expectations and thought August 18th was an unlikely date. It was a very quick appointment! He did say recovery is typically about 6 weeks until feeling normal ish - first two weeks bad, second two better, last two getting back to normal.
Arm: 6/20 Orthopedic surgeon follow-up went fine, everything’s looking good and I will see them again in 4 weeks. I say them because I saw a different person again this time 😅 so far that makes 2 PAs, 1 Resident, and the primary Surgeon (who I have seen for less than 10 minutes total). I can/should have perhaps already started moving my arm around to not lose range of motion. So here we go! I can also start weaning off the splint around the house and whatnot but should continue to use it for protection. I’m a bit frustrated by only hearing this information now, more thoughts in reflections below.
PT: I took a week long break from home PT to rest post-surgery and am back at it doing a subset of my exercises that don’t use my arm. I’m waiting to see my PT again until 6/22 (after the surgeon follow-ups) so I better know my restrictions. PT with insurance can only work on one referral at a time and our current one is for a femur fracture - just another part of the messed up system that doesn’t recognize a whole body as interconnected and rather as $$. Luckily, I know the arm exercises from before so can do them by myself.
Insurance: is still quite a shit show, though we have made amazing progress. We thought we were out of the woods and passed my 2022 and early 2023 bills yet for some reason big ticket items keep showing up as having been overturned after they were already paid. This makes absolutely no sense and comes with little documentation from Blue Cross other than the fact that it is no longer paid. My patient advocate is doing all she can to help remedy the situation, including many emails to the Blue Cross leadership who have promised to help with the situation, though often does not get a reply until threats are made of going to the insurance commission. This is completely messed up.
Life happenings and reflections:
My family was here all week post surgery, and we just enjoyed spending time together inside and outside at our beautiful home. It was so lovely to be all in the same house again! Patrick and I are increasingly grateful for the peaceful space we continue to cultivate at our home in Taos.
Friday 6/9 Calvin and Silv left and Patrick also went away for the weekend, so I got some nice alone time with mom over the weekend until Patrick returned Sunday afternoon. We, well mostly she, did a lot of gardening (I did some one handed until I’d need to go lay down), we watched Sleepless in Seattle, and really were just happy to get such quality time together again - we had only seen each other once and for only a few days since I moved home at the end of January. On Monday, my mom decided it was time to go home, so we thought it would be OK if she took my car to Albuquerque and then when Patrick and I went for my orthodontist appointment on Wednesday 6/14 I would drive my own car back given that I’m not on pain meds anymore. I did a “test” driving to a massage appointment on Tuesday and didn’t think about how different driving with one hand is! What an opportunity for a mindfulness exercise as you have to focus only on driving, no looking at your phone so sticking mostly with the music you choose at the beginning, only able to very carefully pick up a water bottle. The drive home from Albuquerque went fine and Patrick followed me to be sure all went ok.
Watching the Nuggets win the NBA finals was amazing. I cried! They are such a beautiful team of humble and kind individuals that show up and play as a unit. It sure made me think about and miss my dad as he would have LOVED seeing his boys take home the trophy.
I’ve been reflecting more on my surgery experience now that I am farther out and what a dichotomy it is between my experience with Co Springs and NM surgeons. I developed deep relationships with my surgeons in Colorado Springs, both while in the hospital and in my follow up appointments and I do not feel that at all with my current providers. My arm surgeon, for example, I met in my new patient appointment for about three minutes total and mostly talked to her PA for the remaining 10-ish minutes that I was there. Then pre-surgery saw her for maybe 30 seconds, exchanging only a “you ok?” and hearing the plan from the resident surgeon, with no sighting post-surgery from her or the resident. In my follow-up appointment, I saw yet another new PA. My secondary oral surgeon I had not met prior to surgery day and on the day of, she was running late; similarly, we spoke for about a minute prior to surgery, and I also did not see her afterwards. I got discharge paperwork with somewhat clear instructions from both surgeons - no heavy lifting, pulling, or pushing for my arm (no shit!), no instructions about wearing the sling or not, nothing else; for my mouth, “softer than scrambled egg” diet until the wound heals but unsure if this means until sutures are out or what exactly. I will say that my primary oral surgeon does take his time with me in our appointments and I feel like we are getting to know each other so not to say, it is all going to be this way, or that it already is all this way, but reflecting on my experience specifically with surgery and the orthopedic team in general, it’s quite interesting to see such a stark difference in what I might call “quality of care” or at least “patient experience” from Co Springs to Abq. Or perhaps it is more related to the experience of being admitted to the ICU with this unforgettable story and the chaos of meeting my care needs, and ensuring I survived, for days on end that made me feel close to my surgeons, PAs, nurses from Co Springs and they to me. Regardless of the explanation, not getting to know the folks taking care of me and them not knowing me sure makes the lonely feelings associated with this recovery stronger. It is a bit isolating to go through this, and I find community in many of my providers, but not so much with these new ones. If in every appointment with the orthopedic team, I am meeting a new person who has no history of what happened to me, where am I to find the holistic, person-centered, communal feelings I long for?
Since surgery I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by how much space I realize (once again) that I am taking up in other people's lives. Having my family come here to visit and then help post surgery was amazing, I am so lucky to have the support that I do. I know that Patrick envisioned at this time in his life he’d be exploring new jobs, perhaps going to school, growing in different ways and has essentially put all that on hold. I, too, have put my life on hold due to this accident and all that recovery requires of me. I know that this realization and associated feelings are all part of my grief and that it comes in waves. I had a wonderful talk with my massage therapist about this and she brought up the idea of polarity and thinking about, “well, if I were to not take up so much space, what the opposite of that look like?” It might mean to disappear and wow that would not feel good or right either. A helpful exercise. I know that I am not taking up the space by choice and that those supporting me are doing it because they love me and are in this with me, they are happy to do so, and I can still feel sad at times that this is our reality. It continues, in many ways, to get harder the longer this goes on because I so yearn for a “normal life” full of all of the growth and adventure that it is to be a young 30 year old. I can still have growth and adventure, but it does look very different than the life I pictured having right now.
I am also thinking about this idea of taking up space in terms of how much space this recovery and post-accident hooplah has taken up in my life… and the whole time I know that there is still a me in there somewhere, trying to survive and thrive in the context of the situation and also trying to find enough space to figure out who she is. She is in so many ways, different than who she was before the accident, and in many of those ways, it is a good thing. So many lessons have been learned, a new perspective, an outlook on life, and a general appreciation for the small things. I want there to be enough space for me to explore and learn about this new me—who she wants to be, how she wants to be—while I am still moving through this mess. I think I’ll soon create a vision board, perhaps that speaks to how I want to show up in the situational context that I’m forced to deal with every day and will be dealing with for at least another year, and also speaks to who I am underneath it all and how I want to show up currently and beyond.
Saturday 6/17 we hosted Patrick’s mom and partner and went to see Robert Plant and Allison Krauss at Kit Carson Park. Going to a big event with hundreds of people felt good and hard all at the same time; when I go out now, I can't help but think about what people think when they see me, do I want them to know my story, is it important to tell new people when I meet them? Sometimes. I feel like I have this huge secret that at times, weighs on me, and at other times doesn't feel all that big or necessary to share. We had a great night. Then on Sunday 6/18 we came to Albuquerque for Father’s Day dinner at Patrick’s dad’s house and spent Sunday and Monday nights with his dad and brothers. All weekend we ate amazing food, spent time in great company, and filled our cups more. It feels like a lot back to back and also like the right thing for us to make happen.
We keep feeling like we don’t have enough time to be in community like we used to, especially in Taos. When we can make it work to travel and see people important to us, or go on quick trips to visit, or even host, we are bolstering the community that we need to thrive and at the same time, creating less space to hone our Taos community.
I keep returning to the mosaic metaphor to describe my feelings. I just had my 8-month accident-iversary and feel like it has been too long and too short, like I am filled with immense grief/pain/trauma and also gratitude/joy/pride all wrapped up together. I still have a long way to go.
Wednesday June 21st - Thursday July 6th
Medical/Recovery:
Arm:
After my 2 week follow up appointment, I started weaning from splint as instructed and was sleeping without it as of Thursday 6/22 (2 weeks and 2 days post op). I have been doing my range of motion (ROM) exercises daily and started using my arm more, washing a few dishes, picked up the yard, etc. I felt a bit uneasy about the instruction I was given and several of my Taos providers were also concerned, so I sent the following message on 6/23 to the orthopedic team: “I’m hoping for some clarity on my post op instructions. In a pre-surgery call, I was told we would need to be extra careful with my arm post-surgery for up to 3 months. In my surgery discharge instructions, I was told to wear my splint at all times except showering and that heavy pushing, pulling was not allowed. In my 2 week post-op appointment, I was asked if I had been doing my ROM exercises, that I can begin weight bearing with a focus on ROM, that I can start weaning off of the splint, and that I essentially cannot hurt my arm at this point. It would be helpful for me to have guidance about how much weight I am able to tolerate or if I can simply increase as I feel able. Reflecting on the information from my pre-surgery call, I am confused about how "careful" I need to be exactly. Please advise. Of note, I am working with PT to recovery from other injuries sustained in my car accident and had previous to surgery been lifting weights.” I heard back on Wednesday 6/28 that I was given the wrong information by the PA that I saw, and I should be erring on the side of immobilization, taking my splint off only to do my ROM exercises and to shower. I can weight bear only minimally, picking up a cup of coffee, but not much more than that. UGH. I asked that I do not see this PA again and come in for appointments when the PA who called to clarify can see me and when the surgeon is also on site. I wonder how many other people were given the wrong information by this same PA and didn’t think to call and clarify… what damage could be done!
It is difficult to have been given more freedom with my arm, only to learn that I should not have been weight bearing or weaning off my splint. It is as if I took a step back. I’m getting used to the splint and diligence I need to have with using my arm, and in the grand scheme of things, being extra careful and having a mostly immobilized arm is not a big deal. Pain and discomfort in the arm continues to improve and I am needing ibuprofen and tylenol less regularly now. My scar is intense but healing well.
Not being able to use my left arm for weight bearing is presenting some challenges as I continue to work out and be generally more active than last time I had this surgery. Because I am using my right arm more for everything, from lifting myself up to reaching across myself in an odd position to grab something, there's a muscle and myofascial strain pattern developing that is exacerbating my back, ribs, and shoulder pain. My chiropractor, massage therapist, and energy worker/movement therapist are all helping me to unwind this pattern and support my need to use my right side more for now. I will see the pain injection specialist on 7/16 for additional support.
Mouth:
I established with a new Dentist on 6/29. She and the office staff were very welcoming, comfortable, on top of insurance stuff, and made me feel like I was in the right place. I need a gingivectomy to remove gum tissue that has grown over a tooth fracture on the lower left side, and then a partial crown to protect the fracture. I will not need to take my braces off for this appointment after all, so that is a huge relief. I’m scheduled to have this procedure and a dental cleaning on 8/8.
7/6 I discovered a big sore on the inside of my upper lip that must be from my braces, I only notice it now that it is pretty uncomfortable. I am used to having numb lips and then every now and then something like this happens — or I burn the inside of my lip by eating something too hot — and then all of a sudden can feel uncomfortable sensation. It is odd! The outside of my face is completely numb as is the inside of my mouth, but the in between tissue or deep layers are able to feel sometimes.
PT:
I am back to doing my home PT routine and have added new exercises including bike sprints and step ups with a higher step. I have had to adjust many of my exercises as I cannot use weights or really do any exercise involving my arm.
In my PT appointment on 7/6, I ran for the first time on the treadmill, jumped for the first time from the ground (I feel heavy!), and added curtsy lunges. Huge progress! Given the inability to lift weights, we are holding off on more PT appointments until I have weight bearing ability. I can progress the exercises that I have as I feel able.
Insurance: All of my insurance woes from Colorado are handled! My patient advocate is always here to help me, but the bulk of what she was working on for me has been handled. I am still in awe of her and that she was willing to take this on for free; I truly do not know where I would be without her, likely taken to collections and having nearly lost my mind not knowing how to navigate this mess. I also found out on 6/26 that the helicopter payment finally went through! I am excited to have more time to fully focus on healing and getting back to truly living instead of spending so much of my time on insurance drama.
Work/Income:
I have continued to keep my two work contracts going with the understanding that I am not able to work very much, and it has worked fine. I have worked for the NM Human Services Department since August 2020, renewing a new contract every July 1 when the new fiscal year begins. This July, I decided it was best to terminate my contract for now and it is very bittersweet. I know that I need to focus all of my energy on healing and at the same time have so loved the work I’ve been able to do a HSD, leading two large data visualization projects (Scorecard and Data Book), developing and launching a structural determinants of health and wellbeing effort, and various other projects here and there. I may return down the road but for now, my primary focus is on healing and all that entails.
I applied for short term disability at the beginning of February and have been able to track my slow moving application online until recently. Now, the SSA site is down so I can’t even see the status of my disability application, which was submitted nearly 6 months ago. I need to call and figure out what’s happening.
I am so grateful for the generosity from my community since in the early days of my accident - your support has sustained me financially through this so far. Thank you.
Life happenings and reflections:
We’ve had several great volleyball park hangs in the past couple of weeks, I really love having that community and even got to see some friends I hadn’t yet seen since the accident.
Patrick and I went to two shows in the past 2 weeks at the Taos Mesa Brewery (Dumpstaphunk and Tone Ranger), which finally reopened next to Hotel Luna Mystica. It was great to go out in town! We had really fun times in good company, dancing under the stars, and I felt like I could dance more like myself again.
I stayed in ABQ Wednesday 6/28 to stay with my cousin for an early Thursday appointment with the dentist - when I first moved to ABQ in 2014, I lived with her and her husband, and it was very nostalgic and yummy to stay with them again.
On 6/27 Patrick and I went to the river and decided to do a short hike to the Black Rock Hot Springs, which was my first non-flat hike and I was even able to climb over rocks and whatnot. It felt great! I was surprised by what I could do. It was about 1.5 miles in total. We also spent the day Monday 7/3 at one of our favorite camping spots, Rio de Costilla, and while we haven’t yet gotten out camping, it felt so good to be there and play in the water with the pups for several hours.
Now that I am getting out more, I realize the toll it takes on me as my stamina is still so limited. I sleep a lot after going out, even if we aren’t out late or staying up much later than usual. Maybe I am still catching up from being so busy, I am also still very much healing, and it makes me a little bit sad that I am still so often feeling depleted. I am finally having more space and energy to do more things (concerts, go hang with friends, hikes, river, random adventures), which feels great, and there’s a delicate dance in making sure my battery stays charged as I move into this new phase of my recovery.
I’ve had some heart filling interactions with young children of my friends these past two weeks. I used the advice from my therapist in just talking openly with kids about my scars and apparent owies and in a surprising way, it built connection and helped me feel more confident and comfortable. Children are so caring, curious, and in tune! They can tell you have been hurt and want to understand; it is clear that they feel for you and with you.
I had a recent realization that I no longer have nose and cheek freckles, and I miss them.
Friday July 7th - Tuesday July 25th
I’ve been struggling with more pain in a number of ways lately. As I’ve talked about in my last post, there’s been an uptick in shoulder, ribs, and back pain since my 6/6 arm and mouth surgery; it was there before but much more mild and now very present. I’ve also been experiencing more knee and ankle pain since adding jumps, running, and curtsy lunges to my home PT routine.
My chiropractor strongly believes that it would help my pain to always wear shoes with good arch supports, which basically means tennis shoes all the time. This is hard for me to swallow with it being summer and in the 90s in Taos lately. I also just love to be barefoot. She also believes that with my new PT exercises and increased pain, I may need to back off the exercises to find the right balance between increasing strength and not overstressing my body. Overstress can cause a constricted fascial pattern so if not careful, yes I will be getting stronger and at the same time, reinforcing and reestablishing a pattern of pain and constriction.
My other providers share differing opinions, which is the norm with this many providers, about arch supports, how hard to push in PT, etc. It is difficult to navigate and also empowering to know I can make the decisions.
7/10-11 Patrick and I went on our first camping trip in the van and even went on a 2.5 mile hike (see here)! We found a wonderful primitive camping spot in Carson National Forest near Hopewell Lake, with no one around us, tree cover and also very close open space/valleys with wildflowers, and beautiful foliage. The pups were the happiest I’ve seen them in a long time (see here), and I of course was very proud to be able to do my longest hike yet, especially while struggling with increased pain.
7/12 I had an orthodontist appointment: my teeth are progressing well so we increased the top wire strength again. No new information about jaw surgery readiness or anticipated timeline, though she did say she would meet with the oral surgery team on Friday 7/14 and discuss my progress. She thought it possible that they would want her to work on creating space between my front two teeth, where one is currently pushed back behind the other. I imagine I will know more in our next appointment on 8/9.
We had friends in town over the weekend and did our regular Friday park volleyball get together, then went to the river in Pilar on Saturday. We were planning to float and as it got closer, Patrick and I both became increasingly nervous about me being out on the river with only one good arm, plus the rocky river bottom and somewhat unstable ankles and knees. We decided to just hang out on the side and bring the paddle board to play around but not do an actual float. It was a lovely day!
7/16 I saw my pain injection specialist for treatment of neck, upper back, and shoulder trigger point injections and a nerve block for my recurrent headaches stemming from the base of my skull. I was very sore for about 24 hours but see a lot of improvement in my pain. I think we’ll need to do another treatment in this area, and then will move to prolotherapy and trigger point injections to help with ankle and knee stability. I’ll see him again on 7/30.
7/16 was my 9 month accidentiversary - I posted this new page on the website, where I plan to continue adding more reflections and learnings as I feel ready. I will also be posting on social media. I appreciate your engagement with my writing as you’re able. It feels good to get positive feedback from people who read my posts, and I daydream often about sharing my story and learnings more broadly at some point.
I took a break from PT over the weekend and got back to it on Monday 7/17, with less reps of the new exercises, and felt fine doing so. I had a bodywork appointment and got home around 3, relaxed on the couch, and when I got up to make dinner I couldn’t put weight on my right leg due to knee instability and pain. Patrick was out at a work meeting and I was afraid I couldn’t even make it from the couch to the kitchen to make myself dinner, let alone outside to put the birds away before it got dark. I sat back down and did some deep breathing, manipulated my femur a bit to roll outwards as I know it wants to roll in towards my knee scarring, and was able to finally put weight on it and move around, though was still in pain. Not only was I upset at being in pain, but I felt like my body didn’t communicate with me to let me know I shouldn’t push it with PT, that it came out of nowhere, and I want to be independent! This was scary and frustrating.
I took a very relaxed day on Tuesday and knew I had a chiropractor appointment Wednesday 7/19 and was looking forward to her take on my new pain. In my appointment with her, we realized something different happened that caused my leg pain, so it doesn’t seem related to my PT exercises. My hip had come out of place, causing instability and pain in my knee and ankle. My legs both showed signs of fascial restriction release with the additional rest/reset time, so perhaps I will be able to gradually increase into my new PT exercises without causing problems, just need to take it slow. Phew!
I also had a lovely massage Wednesday 7/19 and we talked a lot about my upcoming trip, going to Red Rocks, airport navigation, and other excitements and fears; it was really a safe space for me to talk through fears and strategize about things I hadn’t fully thought through. It was hard and helpful. I decided to bring my cane with me to help with airport navigation and also as a back up for Red Rocks and decided to voice my fears—like what if we’re at Red Rocks and I need to go to the bathroom but my legs don’t work!—to my closest people coming with me (my brother and best friend) so that they are there with me through it. It’s a balance in wanting them to know, not wanting to take them out of their present moment or enjoyment due to worry about me, and also being vulnerable and strong which will ultimately bring us closer. I got this! We also discussed that perhaps the gravity of the week ahead (travel alone, going to Red Rocks, anniversary of my dad’s passing) was causing more stress than I realized and could be the reason for my hip coming out of place. A helpful realization for me to be mindful of in the future.
On 7/20, I had an eye surgeon follow-up that went very well. He’s happy with how my right lower eyelid scar tissue continues to heal and said that my eye is not at immediate risk of damage from dryness, I’m doing a great job with my scar treatments and massage, so we have options for when to do the reconstruction surgery. I decided to go ahead and schedule because I’m eager to keep things moving - we are scheduled for surgery on 10/27, which will include a spacer graft at the middle lamella, about a week of recovery time with limited activity, and then mostly back to normal. If surgery times open sooner, they will call me to move me up.
Later that same day, I flew from Albuquerque to Denver for a week long solo trip. It was my first airport experience since the accident, I brought my cane, and Abq is a very easy airport so getting through was quick and painless. I ended up with a 3 hour flight delay and didn’t get in until almost 8, but it was pretty easy traveling!
The Denver trip has been amazing - I got two massages from the massage therapist I found while living here and he is a true healer; we had two wonderful family get togethers with all of my siblings, nieces, nephews, aunt and uncle, and another with my cousin and her new family; spent a day at the lake with my brother and his partner; and spent a lot of time hanging out at my mom’s house. I also went to see STS9, a jam band I’ve been seeing since high school, at Red Rocks with a group of friends who are like family. It was so yummy! What a huge milestone to be able to walk in to Red Rocks, dance the night away, and have no pain or problems. I was so happy and emotional to be there; Red Rocks is a very special place and I’m so grateful I could go. (many photos in the folder here, sort by name/date)
On my way home tomorrow, I will see my face surgeon in Co Springs and Patrick will meet us to drive me home.
It is bittersweet to go home to Taos after spending such a wonderful and heart-filling time in Denver; I always want more. I am missing my family and friends ahead even before leaving them and at the same time it will feel good to be back home with Patrick and the animals and get back into my routine.
